Articles From Our Good Friend Suzie Heumann from Tantra.com
Loss of Energy (chi) After Sex, and How to Get it Back!
By Suzie Heumann
Situation and questions: "I'd been married for 17 years to a wonderful woman. We are both 39 years old, but after having excellent sex with my wife, I become very, very tired...almost exhausted...the rest of the day. It's like after sex I don't have energy for anything else. I feel really bad about this because my wife does not feel the same way. She says it gives her more energy!
Because of the way I feel after sex, I have been trying not to have sex as often as we used to, but my wife is not satisfied. She says she needs to have sex more often - at least three times a week. I can't keep up with her. I've already gone to the doctor, and he prescribed a hormone patch. I've been with this treatment for a year, and it does not seem to help me. What can I do?"
Dear R. S., The hormone patch may not be sufficient. You should see your doctor again to be re-evaluated. There are also over-the-counter libido enhancers you can try. Some of them are pretty good and work well for certain people.
In the big picture, ejaculating does in fact cause a loss of what the Chinese Taoists call chi. Chi is the life force energy that gives us our passionate nature in life-passion for everything that we do. Men and women are born with varying amounts, according to their personal nature. Not knowing you personally and your day-to-day life situation, you may be on the slightly lower end of the scale when it comes to chi. Whatever the case is, you may have a win-win situation here.
The Taoists say that, for every 10 years of a man's life, he should refrain from ejaculating to an appropriate amount of times during any given month. For a forty-year-old man it's around twice a month. This means you can have sex, even have orgasms, but you don't necessarily have to ejaculate. If you didn't know this, already orgasm and ejaculation aren't the same thing and don't necessarily have to happen at the same time. You can have lots of orgasms and not ejaculate.
Regardless of whether or not you want to become a Taoist Master, you can learn a few Taoist techniques for circulating the orgasmic chi energy and mastering the techniques involved in having orgasms without ejaculating. It is pretty easy to learn, and it sounds like your wife will be very willing to help you learn, too. A dedicated lover can be essential to learning these techniques. A partner who is not willing to help can actually be detrimental. By the way, you will probably see results in as little as two weeks.
The technique involves self-stimulation or partner stimulation to the point of noticing that you are in a zone near the point of no return. On a scale of 1 to 10 that might be a 7, initially. But each time you practice, that 7 will get closer to an 8 or even a 9.9. This can occur fairly rapidly for many men trying these sexercises. At this point you'll learn how to expand the orgasmic feeling so fully that you will begin to have orgasms without going over the top. Your wife will be happy and you'll be very happy. Oh, did I forget to tell you that you will now last as long as you like. She'll be very happy!
It's best if you and your lover have a plan. You may want to get some quality instructional videos, e-courses, books and audio instruction that will make your journey to being The-Incredible-Lovemaking-Man a whole lot easier. It would be good for your wife, too, because it is a little harder for the woman to recognize what your body will be doing. If she can actually see a man in orgasm, without ejaculating, then she'll have a better understanding of what to expect during your sexploration training. Good luck! It's going to be awesome, I just know it.
Small Penis: When Size Matters-in Your Favor!
By Suzie Heumann
Here is a question that, in some form or another, I get asked quite often. I'm sure it will look familiar to many of you: "My problem is quite personal. My height is 6 ft., but the size of my penis is only 4 inches after erection. I am very tense about this. Can you help me?"
Living in today's world can really be hard on us. We're inundated and bombarded with messages comparing us to, well, everybody else. You just can't be too thin or have too much money or, well, you know the scenario. It makes us forget that there are 6.5 billion people out there and each of us is the unique individual that we are blessed to be. That doesn't mean, though, we have to go blindly through life without being our own best advocate!
Modern science has confirmed that the mind, our brain, is our biggest erogenous zone. Eastern philosophy has known for many centuries how deep the mind/body connection is, too. In other words, it's not what you've got but how you feel about yourself and how you use what you've got that counts. When we feel great about ourselves and have confidence and self-love, our world is more generous in the love and care that comes back to us. Accepting who you are and consciously learning the love arts will put you miles ahead of even the most generously endowed man, any day!
What will be key for you is to know that you are fine the way you are. You can become a great lover by learning to last a long time, to love tenderly and deeply and to give to the woman you love as if she were the Goddess in her earthly manifestation! But if you have a little doubt left, here is some great information.
Fact: The G-spot is about 1 to 1.5 inches inside any woman's vagina. It is one of the two essential spots in the woman that lead to vaginal orgasms and the possibility of multiple orgasms. The well-endowed man will often miss the mark! It's only on the in and out that he may chance to come in contact with the right spot! You have an actual advantage, if you learn to use it.
It is best that a woman you would partner with have well-developed PC muscles. They're the ones that you notice are working when you stop and start the urination process. They are called 'Kegels'. She'll be able to grab you better, to heighten the sensation for both of you. This makes the 'fit' much better. You will want to strengthen yours too. The sexercises are easy and fun and they have a whole lot of benefits that I'm not even mentioning here!
Certain positions will be better for you than others. Generally, frontal positions with the woman's legs up over your shoulders are great. There is lots of friction on the G-spot in this type of position. These positions will give you easy access and will give her a lot of maneuverability in her hips. The woman on top positions, along with some unique variations, will also be good for you to master. Another tip: Go really slowly on the out-stroke! The head of the penis catches in the G-spot area on the out - this is to your advantage.
You just don't need a big penis to have great sex. That is a myth. While the size of your penis is what it is, there are many ways to satisfaction if you and your lover are open, curious and willing to experiment. Thrusting patterns should be shallow for good G-spot contact. Find positions in which your partner can move her hips in subtle ways to help facilitate her pleasure.
There's so much to say and not enough space here to even begin to mentor you in the subtle, yet incredible, tools and techniques available to you. My best suggestion is that you get your hands on high quality instructional material designed to show you how it's done. With the right video, audio, e-courses and e-books, articles and practices you can learn outrageous sexual techniques that will make you a God in her eyes. I guarantee it!
Sessions at Ishimpo www.ishimpo.com